a-wakening nightmare

thoughts race. see her face. hear her voice. is she even worthy enough to be called "she"? more like "It". what if the world depended on her.....all hell would break lose. emotions rush. anger is stirred. losing grip. memories appear as if they had never left my mind. "whyyyy do the heavens deny me?!", "it" screams, "it" yells, but to cover my ears from the putrid sound is nearly impossible! why is there someone on earth like this? who does she think she is? so many questions to ask but none can be answered. silent prayers. rushing pulse, words wont come out. teary eyed.racing thoughts.why oh why..is there an end to this circle of dreary death and no good worldly mindset? money, fame, cars, men, life of "luxury", is this even worth all the pain yu put us through? has it ever occured that no matter how crazy people think yu are. mom is mom. no changing that...but if only something changed the outlook, or unblinded the fold of ungodly broken shame,misery, and jealousy out from on top of yur eyes would yu truely see how we feel deep down inside? i suppose im becoming my WORST nightmare.....witch or mother?....(so ive been told)

-natska-witch.serfinch.